So, boys and girls; ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II’ came out this weekend. It was super fun and the audience at Leicester Square were so hyped up they were cheering and clapping the trailers.
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| 'Check it out; that's our careers that just flew by...' |
But I have a few little niggles. Just a few things that had me grinding my teeth in a fit of nerd rage. So, rather than review a film people will go and see regardless it seemed prudent instead to give my rage an outlet and, in keeping with the number of books, list seven little things that got my goat:
1) Scene amnesia
In one of the first scenes, Harry shows Olivander the wands they have taken during their skirmish at Malfoy Manor in the previous film. Olivander confirms the trio have Bellatrix’s wand. Five minutes later they’re in Gringotts with Hermione disguised as Bellatrix and they panic because the goblin clerk asks to see Bellatrix’s wand for ID purposes. Huh? Why don’t they just hand it over? Job done. I think the film makers need a bit of a spanking for this one.
2) But how do the audience know?
Towards the end of the film when Harry activates the resurrection stone and is surrounded by the images of his dead parents alongside dead Sirius and dead Lupin, Harry comments to Lupin about his son. How does he know he has a son? The audience certainly don’t if they haven’t read the books- they only know Tonks made a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it suggestion in the previous film that she was pregnant.
See also; Dumbledore cockish past that doesn’t get mentioned, leaving Aberforth confusingly angry with him over seemingly nothing.
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| 'But we can't die yet! Nobody even knows how tragic it will be!' |
3) Film amnesia
Saying the word ‘Voldemort’ acts as a homing device for the Death Eaters in part I (which isn’t abundantly clear in the film, nor why the isolated Trio even know this… but that’s a rant for another day). So when McGonagall says it outside the school gates, why do the Death Eaters ignore it?
Also, Grindelwald. Yeah, Grindelwald. Why did they even bother paying someone to flash his face in the camera a couple of times in the previous instalment? He served no purpose in the film, despite being really important to the backstory in the books.
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| 'Did somebody say my name?' |
4) Creepy Creepy Creep Creep
Snape’s love for Lily is supposed to be all pure and ensures Harry forgives him for everything ever in the most insane way. But when you don’t infer there’s any feelings on Lily’s part, it just comes across as creepy. As does Snape’s request to look at Harry’s eyes. Why doesn’t Harry ever have a moment where he thinks about what happened between him and Snape and suddenly feels momentarily ill and violated?
In fact, come to think of it, why is Harry so saddened by Snape being attacked and brutally killed? He comes rushing in to tend to his wounds… before he knows Snape’s true intentions. At that point, all he knows is Snape has viciously tortured him at school for six years, murdered Dumbledore and has ensured Hogwarts is in the iron grip of Voldemort. I can understand he’s a caring enough person not to want to see someone injured like that, but playing nursemaid? Really?
5) Harry the Duellist
Why does Harry leap out of Hagrid’s arms and launch into a duel with Voldemort when he sucks at duelling? Seriously, it makes no sense. What happened to the conversations about love and how Voldemort is incapable of it, leading Voldemort to hoist himself by his own petard? You know, the moment that encapsulated the major theme of all seven books?
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| 'You're amateur. At best. Try goading me about love and stuff instead. Just a thought.' |
6) He Was Dumbledore’s Man
I can’t let this one go- why doesn’t Harry tell Voldemort all about how Snape tricked him for decades because ‘He was Dumbledore’s man through and through’? Oh yeah, he’s too busy pretending to be good at duelling.
7) Snape Vs McGonagall: Smackdown
So anti-climatic, which is a crying shame. It could have- and should have- been one of the most epic fights in the film. Instead it looked like they were playing a really rubbish game of British Bulldog. Also, could they have made it anymore obvious Snape is a spy? He doesn’t even try to hit McGonagall.
Bonus Seven Things I Liked:
1) Snape’s death
Blood smears on the glass and the sounds of a corpse being mangled as Harry helplessly watches on from the other side. Awesomely horrible and will make small children cry.
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| 'Is that... hissing?' |
2) Voldemort’s soul
See above, RE Awesomely horrible and will make small children cry. It’s a whimpering Gollum in barbecue sauce.
3) Neville
Hell to the yeah; Neville’s back and he’s ready to kick ass and take down names. Even if his moment of gaining consciousness during the fight only to spy the sword of Gryffindor is a little reminiscent of a lager advert.
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| 'Yeah? Who wants some?' |
4) Molly Vs Bellatrix: Smackdown
The audience cheered. It was a good moment. Let’s face it, any time a beloved mumsy character calls someone a bitch and then viciously murders them is going to warm the cockles of one’s heart.
5) Memories…
Snape’s pensieve memories were handled surprisingly well; it felt like a proper spew of memories that pieced together a message rather than a heavy handed plot device. Also, one has to approve of the epic acting. Even if I did laugh at the corpse cuddling.
6) Epilogue
It succeeded where all the gossip magazines have failed by convincing me that other people aging is hysterically funny.
7) They Belong Together
Ron and Hermione. Just Ron and Hermione. The audience cheered; they’d been waiting for this for almost eight films. Also the film gets serious bonus points for Ron threatening Draco with the words, ‘That’s my girlfriend, you numpty!’
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