X-Men: First Class (Better Title- 'The One Where Professor X and Magneto Cry. A Lot.') *SPOILER ALERT!*

Prequels. Reboots. There have been a lot of these in the blockbuster franchises these past few years (‘James Bond’ and ‘Star Trek’, I’m looking at you), and frankly, if any franchise was begging for a reboot, it was the ‘X-Men’ one. Personally, I enjoyed the campy, action packed romps of X1 and X2 but found that X3 left me cold. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy bad films but that was a step too far. So when ‘X-Men: First Class’ was first announced, you could have coloured me wholly disinterested. A trailer at the cinema changed my mind, followed by the moment where I turned to my friend and from the look in her eyes, I could tell she was thinking the same thing:

‘We have to see this. Even if it’s crap, it will be brilliant.’

Joyfully, ‘X-Men: First Class’ exceeded my expectations. It’s a solid action romp that manages to be a little bit deep without being pretentious. However, if you’ve seen any of the previous films or read the comics, I’d advise you to leave that knowledge at the cinema door. The inconsistencies are so many that I’d be surprised if anyone involved in the making of ‘X-Men: First Class’ had actually seen any of the prior ‘X-Men’ films. This is definitely a reboot rather than a prequel (and if it isn’t, perhaps the people involved should pretend otherwise).

'Hang on; my older brother hasn't been born yet, and Mystique's a teenager? My mind is blown.'

The basic plot revolves around Charles Xavier/Professor X (He’s a professor, he has the surname Xavier and he calls himself Professor X in the belief that nobody will twig? That has to be one of the worst codenames ever devised) and Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto as their paths cross during the Cuban missile crisis of 1962. During that time, ‘mutants’ are starting to draw attention from the CIA and the government are beginning to fear this new advanced form of homo sapiens. Charles believes he and his fellow mutants can prove they’re not a threat by working side by side with humans to diffuse the missile crisis, while Erik doesn’t trust anyone and believes the mutants need to protect themselves from inevitable persecution. Meanwhile, Erik’s old abuser Dr. Klaus Schmid- under his real name Sebastian Shaw- has formed the Hellfire Club along with some fellow mutants to take advantage of the crisis and plunge the world into war; with the mutants against the humans.

Charles wonders if impending nuclear destruction trumps the 'three-date rule'.

The first scenes show victims being shoved into a concentration camp, and I cringed. I had forgotten that Magneto was a German Jew who had been interned in Auschwitz, but I hadn’t forgotten the ham-fisted ways in which many films and TV shows handle such situations outside of drama and documentaries (Russell T Davis era ‘Doctor Who’, I’m looking at you). Happily, it isn’t too offensive; a lot of Erik’s suffering is shown at the hands of geneticist Dr. Klaus Schmidt for his own personal research and parallel the actual horrors of the holocaust, rather than exploiting them for shock value. Nevertheless, the effect this and his experiences have on the young Erik are scattered throughout the film without being shoved down your throat, giving a coherent insight as to why he thinks and acts the way he does.

'I wish I knew how to quit you...'

The setting of the whole film is a really good choice; the Cuban missile crisis was a flashpoint in the Cold War, where every country involved eyed its neighbours with utmost suspicion; waiting for a chance to annihilate them before they were annihilated themselves. In this film, the mutants and the humans are eyeing each other with suspicion; waiting for a chance to… you get the idea. There’s a lot of neat paralleling of the world view at that time with the humans vs mutants issue at the centre of the film. Even the issue of human rights around the time fits in well with Charles and Erik’s opposing views on achieving the same goal; where Charles’ Luther-King-esque ideas on harmonious human/mutant living jostle uncomfortably with Erik’s more Malcolm-X attitudes.

Otherwise known as the most continuity you're going to get with the other 'X-Men' films...

To the film’s credit, it lets you largely ignore all these parallels if you so choose, as it concentrates on being fun and fast-paced. Barely a line is wasted in this film; it’s very lean, neat and every moment feels crucial to the story. We meet characters from the previous films (or later films, depending on how you look at it) such as Hank McCoy/Beast and Raven Darkhölme/Mystique, along with some new faces (from the perspective of the films) such as Angel Salvador (sometimes known as Tempest) and Banshee/Sean Cassidy. Some of the most entertaining moments come from Charles and Erik’s attempts to recruit young mutants to their cause, and a hilariously camp montage of the two James Bond-ing  about to get face-time with the prospective trainees climaxes with one of the most inspired throw-away cameos (which made one of my friends and I laugh so much, it annoyed the people in front of us. But in our defence, it was damn funny).

'You know; couple of blokes, on our own, drinking wine... Bit suspect, isn't it?'

The film largely focuses on the relationship between Charles, Erik and Raven. I adored how they used Raven’s character and how her defection to ‘the bad side’ (I put this in quotation marks because all of the ‘X-Men’ films have been somewhat grey as to good and evil; rightly so, in my opinion) is explained. Raven is shown initially as a feral child stealing from the Xavier family’s kitchen, whom Xavier decides to adopt as his sister (it is never explained how he manages this in the film, but I did read a theory somewhere online that he probably implanted the idea in his parents’ heads that she was their child, which I rather liked). Her mutation is very visible, and she constantly has to hide her true form for fear of rebuke. There is a wonderfully written (and acted) moment where her burgeoning relationship with sweet natured Hank is utterly, irrevocably destroyed when, having been eager to cure his affliction by using her unique cellular structure, he presents her with the cure and tells her ‘You’re beautiful like this…’ to her blonde illusory form. The whole audience cringed as we watched this kid rip that girl’s heart out thought her rib cage and toss it out of the window without even realising it. Even Charles appears to have moments where he is clearly uncomfortable with Raven’s true form. The only character in the entire film who actively encourages Raven to be her real self and stop hiding is Erik. No prizes for guessing where that goes.

Hang on... how old is she supposed to be, exactly?

So, to Charles and Erik. Charles, it turns out, was something of a horn dog in his youth; using truly execrable chat-up lines to woo the ladies as well as using his ability to read their minds to order their favourite drinks. Fortunately the script is deft enough to avoid taking this too far and straying into mind-rape territory (‘Torchwood’, take note: bending someone’s will so that they have sex with you is rape, be it with mind control or alien pheromone spray). So, young Charles is a loveable scamp who abuses his powers a little, rather than some terrifying sex-pest who ought to be on a register. Erik, in contrast, is driven solely by revenge and seems to have no time for friendships or fun. He does have a bar of Nazi gold, however, which he uses as a bribe to find out the location of Sebastian Shaw. Except that doesn’t work and he instead starts yanking out fillings from his contact until he gets the answers he wants. So, Erik is a deeply disturbed individual on a revenge mission, bearing the scars of the second world war. It’s just like ‘The Odd Couple’. You know, if the two roommates were an intellectual cad and a mass murderer rather than a neat-freak and a slob. Charles is clearly fascinated with Erik’s ability, and can’t help but be moved by his experiences. Erik is able to open up to Charles and learn how to truly tap into his powers not through the rage and pain Sebastian used, but by finding ‘a point somewhere between rage and serenity’. Ironically, Charles’ care and attention to Erik give him all the power he needs to become a villain in his own right.

'# If you leave me now, you take away the biggest part of me... #'

Throughout the entire film I watched the building relationship between Charles and Erik with one ever-increasing thought developing in my head:

‘Dear God, the internet won’t be able to cope with the sheer volume of slashfic written about these two in this film.’

From the moments where Charles penetrates Erik’s mind and brings forth a memory he describes as ‘beautiful’ while the two of them cry, to their disagreements over how to handle their new mutant recruits which are uncannily similar to conversations between parents when they disagree on how to best raise their child, to their emotional parting scene where Erik cradles an injured Charles in his arms (and yes, they cry)… the only way they could make the subtext any closer to text is by going all out and have them screw in a tent after a night of heavy drinking, a la ‘Brokeback Mountain’. I can’t decide whether the filmmakers had never ventured into the murky bowels of the internet and thus had no idea that the onslaught of McAvoy/Fassbender era Professor X/Magneto fanfiction would be almost inevitable, or whether they did it on purpose. Given the filmmakers create a scene where Charles and Erik lie on a bed together drinking champagne, and it actually propels the storyline, my guess is a little of column A, a little of column B. Fears of a fanfic explosion aside, there’s a genuine sense of friendship that it seems neither party has ever experienced before, which makes their inevitable parting due to irreconcilable viewpoints on how to handle mutant rights all the more heart-breaking. There’s also a nice little moment where Erik seems almost resentful of Xavier’s privileged upbringing, where he sarcastically comments on the hardships Charles no doubt endured as a child (which I can only assume is a little nod to comic-book Xavier’s years of childhood abuse at the hands of his step-father; otherwise Raven’s response of, ‘He had me to ease his suffering’ makes absolutely no sense).

'Come on, which one of you bastards stole my yoghurt?'

The CGI and special effects are used well in the film, and both the powers and non-human features of the mutants look pretty convincing. In fact, the only complaints I had about this film concern the costumes and a few odd moments. Most of the outfits are fantastically evocative of the early Sixties, but almost all of the women constantly swan about in miniskirts; even CIA agent Morgan MacTaggart sports a mini-skirt suit to work. Even if we ignore the fact that miniskirts didn’t really become popular until three years after this film was set (which I’m willing to do- I’m not a monster), a CIA agent trying to make it in a male-dominated industry before the days of gender discrimination laws would not turn up to work in what was considered a scandalous item of clothing. MacTaggart would have spent her work time in calf-length skirts that offered far less fanservice. Again, I could have let this go were it not for the fact that they bring up the attitudes of sexism in the workplace towards the end of the film. Oh, and in a script that has clearly been so well thought out, why exactly did they think it would be a good idea to have the only characters of colour either die or defect? Also, after being so careful with the way Charles abuses his power to pull the ladies, why did they have to spoil it all near the end by having him essentially mind-rape MacTaggart and wipe her memory (but letting her remember their kiss, naturally)? I presumed it was intended that Charles made the decision to protect her, but it’s not made abundantly clear. Although the dialogue is generally sparkling and fun with liberal helpings of cheese, there are a few moments where it gets a bit too much. The first ‘Oh, remember everyone, Charles Xavier is bald, but not here because he’s younger, chortle!’ moment is pretty funny, but by the third one it starts to get a little wearing.

Sadly, the one major moment that really didn’t work for me was when we discover Charles has been paralysed. We were all waiting for it throughout the film, and the payoff is suitably dramatic, but the actual moment where he shouts out in a stunned voice, ‘I can’t feel my legs’ over and over is given a dramatic score that is so overblown, it becomes funny. And the words, ‘I can’t feel my legs’ should never come across as amusing in a film, unless they are followed by the line, ‘That’s because we’ve had to amputate your arms.’

'Umm... Do we have to go to A&E? Can't you just, I don't know, get it off with turps? It's getting kind of embarrassing- the nurses have set up a page on Facebook about me...'

I should probably give some mention to the acting, and it’s all good. McAvoy and Fassenbender are especially notable as Charles and Erik respectively, both appearing to take their roles exceptionally seriously while having fun with them. McAvoy must be good, because he spends half of the film looking like he’s accidentally superglued his fingers to his temples and yet it doesn’t appear silly. Jason Flemyng (or ‘Danny from Primeval’ as I like to call him) shows up as Azazel, which is a fun bonus if… well, if you watch ‘Primeval’, I guess. Jennifer Lawrence as Raven played the character with a vulnerability that made her move from Charles’ little sister figure to eventually proactive villain both believable and tragic. I’ve heard a lot of people complain about January Jones’ performance in the film as Emma Frost, but given she really doesn’t do much but sit around and look bored, I can’t say it bothered me much. Having never seen her in anything before, I don’t know if this meant she was underused or expertly cast.

'Is that...? No, wait... It is! It bloody is! It's Danny from 'Primeval'! Oh yeah, and Kevin Bacon, too.'

Co-written by Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn (who also co-wrote ‘Kick Ass’ and ‘Stardust’), the film has a similar style to their previous fare; camp and enjoyable but serious when it needs to be. Vaughn’s direction is dynamic and interesting (although he does seem to favour conveying intense emotion by zooming in on a character. Every time.), and I was delighted that there didn’t appear to be a hastily converted 3D version to try and make more money out of the cinema-going public (one day I may write about this, but it will probably be an incoherent rant where the word ‘why?’ appears seventy-three times).

All in all, if you liked the other ‘X-Men’ films but thought X3 was a bit shite, I’d recommend you give ‘X-Men: First Class’ a go. It’s not exactly Chekov (although his gun is cocked with painful obviousness very early on in the film), but it’s good fun with some cheesy continuity nods and a clever script that actually makes you think if you want to.